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Hello, I am happy to send you my text.I loved writing it more than winning because it was an almost cathartic exercise.I send you greetings hoping that you will continue to be well
Another night without sleep, because to look at the cell phone until very late, tossing and turning and
waking up to even the smallest of noises cannot be called sleeping. The night has been bad, the night has been the same as the previous twenty nights.
I wake up, what time is it? what day is it? I do not know, but I still think that it does not matter much, nor that I was going to do something especially if it were Friday or Saturday, it is endless Sunday, the dream of many come true, they say that you have to be careful with what you want.
I try to get up with encouragement, I imagine myself going to the living room to do some exercise routine that I find on YouTube, eating fruit breakfast honey and cereal, bathing and getting cute to continue with the rest of the activities scheduled for this day, because Come on! There is time to do what I always wanted to do and could not do because there was no time: cleaning, scrubbing, sewing, embroidery, cooking, baking, accommodating, reading or studying ... but no, today I cannot, today I cannot, I cannot even get out of bed and although I don't want to, I do. I stumble until I reach the refrigerator and open it not out of hunger, but out of habit, I stare inside as if someone from inside was going to talk to me or cheer me up, but nothing.
Finally I sit on the armchair in the living room, near are my computer, television, cell phone, book on the table, I don't feel like anything. My head bursts into a thousand negative thoughts, the tangle of worries that invade my brain takes over me, the silence is overwhelming and I think of the ones I love the most and who are far away… on the verge of crying and as if knowing what was happening, I feel As a cold surface touches my forearm, I hadn't realized it was there when I sat down, because it was, right? or not? Yes, of course, because how else would the ukulele have appeared?
Still a little surprised by the "appearance" I take it, it is nice, it is cold, the feeling pleases me, I still do not know how to touch it because it was a birthday gift that I did recently, a few tutorials, videos, recommendations, exercises, but I do not know more, even so I hang it on impulse because it is as if he were asking me and then it seems as if the ukulele embraces me, I feel him close to the heart, I put my arms around him and suddenly my mind clears, it is like if someone had scared away the gray cloud that was lying over me. I decide, almost unconsciously, to start practicing, I arrange the fingers of my left hand and feel the strength that I can imprint on them, I feel the
taut, challenging ropes. Now my right hand makes them vibrate ... the sound invades not only the room, but my whole body, I feel how that small sound rumbles and carries away the anger, worry, anguish and stress.
Suddenly the routine stops being routine because it has something new in which my mind keeps busy, my hands are put to the test and I don't want to stop listening to the sounds that I produce and that vibrate close to my chest, accompanying me and singing to me softly, but very convincing "everything will be fine" and then ... I finally feel that
really awake.
IRMA FABIOLA FLORES SÁNCHEZ
MEXICO CITY, APRIL 14, 2020
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